


There's no lament for you tonight

by HoshisamaValmor (HannibalCatharsis)



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Inspired by Music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-26 23:41:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21109103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HannibalCatharsis/pseuds/HoshisamaValmor
Summary: Looking at his photo in the exhibition, Sing knows.(Drabble set at the end of Garden of Light)





	There's no lament for you tonight

Looking at his photo in the exhibition, Sing knows.

They took a long time to get here. The kid, Akira, managed to so effortlessly and effectively bring it all back again, unbandaging all those wounds and making it feel like everything was raw and tearing open again. But it turns out the wounds were already healing. They simply hadn't been able to look and see it. The phantom pain had lingered, like it had been etched into the skin through trauma, a fear to face more pain so deep seated they had just learned to live with it - thought it was the only thing that ever was.

Ash's life had touched all of them, and its loss had left them with a painful, suffocating void for so long. Eiji, Max, Jessica... Charlie, Ibe-san, Nadia, every single one of the guys in the gang. Himself. Even Yut-Lung (_specially_ Yut-Lung. Surely Ash hadn't been the only reason for the Chinese Mafia Boss to move with their extended operation back to China, but he was certainly part of it). Everyone he had touched had been left with an emptiness that sucked the memories in, that tried to hide them and the pain they brought. The ties binding all of them felt too heavy. Secrets, regrets, guilt. That was why Sing and Eiji had never talked about it, why Yut-Lung's soft words felt like needles twisting on Sing's skin, and likely his own. Why Eiji hid all the photos.

Michael was probably the one who should have taught him, should have taught all them before Akira had come and done what she did. How the boy's eyes would sparkle at the mention of Ash's name, how he seemed so distant from the crushing pain, that only feeling all of them seemed to be able to feel. Michael should have taught them how that pain was just imprinted, a phantom scarying them away from looking closer.

Akira finally did it. Pulled those ties, made Eiji and Sing face it.

Now, they could. Look beneath the surface and see the wounds had healed into scars, forever there, but no longer bleeding anymore. Reminders and remains of a recovery, of something important, a life that was once shared with their own.

Ash hadn't left them a void. He had left them everything he could and more.

Sing knows, now, looking at Ash's photo, with a certainity that gives finally words to a feeling. Eiji's words. Ash's life was so short, so few years shared with all of them, yet it had been enough to give them all so much. So many memories of all the things he gave them, things Ash himself probably never even considered he was giving. The fact they had witnessed and earned those memories was something to feel happy and proud for, not sad.

There might have been more, in another world where Ash would have not died so soon. There _should_ have been more. But what they had was enough. Ash had given it all to them.

Sing felt the tears trail down his cheeks. He felt Akira's hand warmly on his, and he smiled.

_We miss you, Ash._

_And thank you._

.

the end

.

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note that's almost as long as the fic:
> 
> This had a lovely experience behind it. As I was reading 'Garden of Light' for the first time, I had picked a full album to hear like I always do, and as I got to the final scenes of the manga, I started to realize the japanese words I was listening to in the background sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite understand everything perfectly on my own - only a general intention of the lyrics, and that was enough to make my hair stand. I searched for the lyrics and its translation and somehow, out of 50 minutes of 'Change of Generation' album by Unlucky Morpheus, the song that was playing at the moment I was reading the ending scenes was 鎮昏歌 and the lyrics were just in sync with the events, making everything more emotional and making me bawl my eyes out.
> 
> I then moved to 'Deep' from Anathema to finally type this down, and its lyrics named the fic. Needless to say I recommend both songs.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


End file.
